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That was three weeks ago, and I had dropped him like a rock, making sure he sank. But the results of that decision were coming home to roost, three weeks without getting laid, three weeks with only my fingers to cool me off, and that was only when I knew I could get away with it, when I knew that mom or Dad or one of the twins wasn’t going to burst into my room to tell me about chores or take our Dalmatian, Billy for a walk, or something else I didn’t care about. I mean seriously, who cares about who got what colour penalty in whatever macho sport they were watching? Just more proof that all guys have balls for brains, the number of them it takes to follow one around a field for an hour, not to mention the people who are more than happy to sit back and watch!But that didn’t solve any of my problems, and thinking about Rick’s eight inches was almost making me drool, and other parts of my body were starting to follow suit. I sat down on the sofa in front of the telly and picked up the. Poor Jeff slept on the couch, actually thinking what illness he believed I had was contagious. If I had an illness, it was certainly addictive. I forced myself to come off it, swearing, vowing I would never cheat or work with Darius again. In May, I shocked Jeff by requesting we go to marriage counseling. He didn't understand why. I didn't tell him I cheated. Instead, I told him, I want us to be closer, to make sure the marriage was strong. It was all a front. I needed something to make me forget about cheating, to make the problems in the marriage, no matter how small, go away so I wouldn't be tempted to cheat again. It's almost like the counseling was a form of rehab for the marriage. I felt so much guilt for cheating, so much anger at myself, such a huge desire to prove Darius wrong and not go black, that the counseling would help prevent me from relapsing with Darius. The counseling sessions weren't horrible. Jeff hated every minute of them. But they actually helped me voice some.
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